


hypothetically,

by wizardbane



Category: The Dresden Files (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Humor, LET MURPHY SAY THE FUCK WORD, Light Angst, dresden tells murphy about magic but no he doesnt <3, kind of crack treated seriously honestly, magic reveal but its ridiculous with a touch of serious, overuse of the word hypothetically, this is silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:01:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28765227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wizardbane/pseuds/wizardbane
Summary: "So," he said, "Hypothetically--""If you say that word one more time I'm going to shove that stupid hockey stick up your ass.""...Theoretically--"
Relationships: Constanza Murphy & Harry Dresden, Possibly Pre Murphy/Dresden
Kudos: 7





	hypothetically,

Murphy stared down at the smoldering smudge of ash and soot on the floor, and then looked back up at Dresden, standing there with his stupid hockey stick, which was smoking. 

He gave her a nervous half-smile-half-grimace. "I can explain," he said. 

Now. Obviously there was something weird happening here. There was _always_ something weird happening around him. But it was hard to think of a non-magical solution to a fucking laser beam of some sort coming from a _fucking hockey stick_ and apparently just straight up disintegrating someone. 

So. Was magic real. Was that the question Murphy had to be asking right now. Why was this her life. 

Amazingly, staring down at his increasingly worried grimace and the smudge on the floor, the words that came out of her mouth next were not _shit fuck fuck shit what the fuck shit,_ but "Dresden, you can't _disintegrate_ suspects." 

He gaped at her a little, and seemingly not really paying attention to what he was actually saying, said, "It wasn't a person."

"What, it was a moving person-shaped pile of jackets?" 

He blinked. "Uh. Yeah, kind of. It was a construct, like a little minion or a, uh, doll. Kind of like a magic robot made of clothing. I mean, it's not magic. Shit. It was a robot. Normal robot. Yes."

"You can't expect me to believe that."

"I don't suppose you would believe you hit your head and this is all a weird dream, would you?"

She sighed. Deeply. Angrily. "Okay, even if magic is real--"

"It isn't!"

"--why the fuck would you try and deny it right now? You didn't even try to give me a plausible explanation."

He shifted awkwardly, looking around, and then gave her a Look™, seeming very done with the world in general, which sure was bold of him considering the position she was in right now. 

"Okay, so you just disintegrated a living jacket with your hockey stick of doom," she said, ignoring his snort, "You have no other explanation than 'it was a robot'?" 

He sighed. He stepped closer, and she pointedly did not step back, even though the hockey stick was pointed suspiciously close to her. 

"Look," he said. "Let's say, completely hypothetically, that magic is real. Just for the sake of argument."

"Okay," she said. Unimpressed. 

"Well, hypothetically, were I a real wizard, with real--" he moved his hands about in a funny gesture, "Wizard powers, well, I wouldn't be the only one, would I? I'm not that special. So hypothetically, there'd be a lot of wizards. And if there are enough of em, well, I'd think reasonably, they'd probably have a uh, governing system of kind. You know, hypothetically, if magic were real." 

She stared him down, eyes narrowed.

"So," he said. "Hypothetically--"

"If you say that word one more time I'm going to shove that stupid hockey stick up your ass." 

"... _Theoretically--"_

_"Dresden,"_ she snapped. 

" _THEORETICALLY,"_ he said over her, "These people might have some rules, right? Like secrecy rules. Don't want everyone knowing about this theoretical magic. I mean, if people don't know about it, there's probably rules keeping it that way, right, or else anyone'd be using it all willy nilly. So hypothetically--er, theoretically, then, those rules must have some pretty harsh things backing em up, huh? Might not be smart to tell anyone who doesn't already know."

"So you'll get in trouble with your bosses, boo hoo," she said. "You get me in trouble with my bosses all the time. And I _work_ with you, I think I've kinda got the idea already."

"Murphy," he said, much more seriously than she was used to, "Maybe these hypothetical bosses--and they are hypothetical, because I'm very specifically not admitting anything here--wouldn't just punish me, you catch my drift? Maybe they'd want to erase anyone who knew when it could have been avoided."

Dawning realization. "You're trying to protect _me."_

Damn him. Always trying to protect everyone and everything, even when she didn't need protection.

Then again, she didn't have magic powers, but. _still._ It rankled. She was a grown woman, damn it. And a detective. She could handle herself. She was no damsel.

(Of course, she wouldn't exactly know what to do in the face of "being erased", whatever the fuck that meant--somehow she doubted bullets or negotiation training would do much--but. _fuck.)_

"Hypothetically," he said. "I mean, in this scenario, I wouldn't exactly be too happy to get executed either, but I've managed to get myself out of some pretty bad situations before, so."

" _Executed?!"_

"It's probably fine," he said. "The point is, you don't know about magic, because it isn't real. Frankly, this conversation we just didn't have is probably a bad idea, but even the thinnest veneer of plausible deniability is probably good, and it's not like I've got a magical bug on me right now anyway. Probably." 

She gave him a long considering look. "Okay," she said. "Magic is definitely fake." She would have a crisis about magic being real later. "This is why you go off on cases and do batshit things without telling me, right? So I don't see whatever crazy--" she sighed, "definitely not magic thing you're doing?"

"Yep," he said, rocking back and forth on his heels slightly. "You're taking this better than I thought you would." 

"Thanks," she said, internally not taking this well at all, "Here's the deal, then. You need some help from me? Going to do some crazy shit that interferes with my case? Tell me a story. About a living jacket that needs to be stopped or whatever. No lying. Sound good?"

There was a beat. The little smudge on the ground continued to smolder. 

"Yeah," he said finally. "Sounds good."

"Good."

She nodded with a sense of finality, and turned to go, because she could really use a drink right now while she tried to process all the times Dresden had told her about something impossible and she'd dismissed it out of hand. (Black magic. Jesus.)

"Oh, hey," Dresden said behind her, a little brighter. "You can meet my roommate now."

"Your." She turned around. "Your _what?"_

"Oh, yeah," Dresden said. "He's uh, not a ghost. He could use someone other than me to talk to, I think."

"Oh," she said faintly. "Of course. Your not-ghost friend is lonely."

"I got some good whiskey if you want to come meet him now?" he offered. "We could talk. About things." 

It was hesitant--an olive branch, maybe. Kind of nervous. She felt a little bad for being wary of his stupid hockey stick. Obviously she was no living jacket thing. He'd probably noticed how she'd avoided letting the tip of the thing point towards her.

So--olive branch. Go over to his place. Meet a ghost. Look at literally everything there with new eyes. Shit, all those weird symbols on his wall weren't just for aesthetic, were they? Or the weird herbs? 

"We still got a case," she said. "And I don't know what's up with the--" she looked down at the smudge. "That."

"We could talk about _that_ ," he said. "Bob could help."

The ghost's name was _Bob._

God. She could use a whiskey. 

"Sure," she said. "Why the hell not." 

He beamed. 

**Author's Note:**

> the lines on exactly how this statute of secrecy works confused me ngl like ok i kind of get it but it's a little shaky, no? 
> 
> also full disclosure ive read like two (2) of the books and mostly forgotten them this is based entirely in the canon of the show based on them. sorry


End file.
